||contemplative + mostly content
Every now and then life just hits you hard. First off, I did lose my job, perhaps a week and a half after the last post. Mom, Linda, and even Dad told me that its perfectly normal to lose a first job, but it still felt pretty awful. The plan was at that point to get my license and find a new one right away, but we've tried getting in touch with my old instructor, with no luck D: Annoying, as I need only 2-3 more lessons from him, and Im free to get some extra tutoring and get my license...The upshot of all this is no liscense = no job, no job = no more money, and no income = no trip to Austrialia this summer. I'm praying about that, because I *really* want to go. But I need around $300 more for a one way, and between 700-1200$ more for round trip.
Meanwhile, Ive been sick off and on, and one of the times it was at its worst, Sylvie was killed. Hit by someone speeding. That hurts so much...she was a wonderful cat, a dear companion, and a beloved friend and sister. That cat was like my family...Rest in peace, my dearest Sylvie. Say hello to Myska and Kino for me, and Oliver...and when I get to heaven, may I find that you've pulled all the towels off the stove, slept in the guestroom, found places to play "death from above" from, and escaped outside to come and greet me.
Other than that, strangely, my life has improved. I chose a major finally, CGW (computer graphics for the web)and have since skipped every Ecology class and lab. Not smart, I know, but I dodn't need it any more and I couldn't stand it. It always hurts the worst when a class that you know *can* be fun and interesting is rendered boring and confusing at the same time. I'm enjoying the math more than it. *Me* apreeciating a math class. John and I seem to have parted ways... I don't think I'm ready to date, really. Which is fine, because the only people I'd want to at the moment haven't shown any thought of it at all. Maybe someday one or more of them will consider it, and by then I'll be more ready. I also won an Avon raffle, and have my very own shower gel, body lotion, and perfume. Mango. Wynn would approve. Dads also taken us out to three movies in the past week. :D
YOu know, something just came to mind. A friends mother who dissaproved of me several years back because I was "immature." At the time, I was many times more mature than most people my age, I think, and I was both offended and amused. Now, I think I know what she saw- a girl who, at age 15 or sixteen, was obsessed with fantasy worlds, who was introverted and looked to others for direction, who didn't wear makeup or nice cloths, who saw boys as friends and not dates. By those standards, I still am immature. But a lot of my past troubles seem to come from trying things I'm not ready for. Right now, moving at my own pace, I'm not collapsing under the weight of all the problems I can't control. So, in the end, I think it best to take my time. I know I'll bloom eventually.